Today I have finally cut the chains deeply rooted to all the heavens of tomorrow’s afterlife. I have found complete fullness inside an empty sea of no promises. Inside of each breath I breathe I will exhale the second that has passed and leave it be as the moment of now fills my lungs with presents. Today, my pupils remain permanently dilated on absorbing the vastness of life’s tragedies and simple fortunes.


Today I turned 24 years old. I sit here writing to you as a miniature rocking chair that was given to me at birth sits before me. It’s so close I can trace its oak patterns with the tip of my 24 year old finger. This chair is a porthole to another time and another life. This chair reminds me that once I was an infant capable of so little, before that an embryo capable of even less and before that I was nothing.  As I travel back through these stages of my life the anniversary of my birth simultaneously moves me one year closer toward my death. The seconds keep pushing me forward   In this moment something as bold as lighting strikes me,  “the opposite of life is not death”. The opposite of life is nolife, to never have existed.  And after this truth electrocutes me another thought thunders, cascading down my conscious mind.  “The purpose of life is in the question.” The purpose of life is life, to exist.

flash foward                                                                   

I realize the biggest lie man has put his faith into is life-after. Heaven is the hell of today. I have walked 24 years of my life upon murky foundations. A foundation that guided my steps even after I rejected my Christian faith.  Perhaps believing in an afterlife is instinctual, for the only thing man has not achieved is mortality and the only current cure to this is heaven. On my 24th birthday I have decided to fully reject this notion. The moment I did this fear consumed me until my eyes opened wide and showed me the promise of today. For the first time in 24 years, I feel alive.